Dear Rodney
by Caty91
Summary: When you read this I am not among you anymore but please don't be sad. Warning: Spoilers from the episode Sunday.


**A/N: I refused to watch Sunday for a quite a sometimes but I have watched it now and this came to my mind. I didn't use any beta readers and English is not my first language, and since I want to improve my writing, I would appreciate feedback from you guys. OH! And I don't own anything.**

He sat in his quarters with a letter in his hand. It had been a very long day. He just had come back from Earth. It was hard when someone died especially when it was your best friend. He had been standing outside Carson's room waiting for him to come out. Rodney couldn't grasp the thought of that Carson was gone, his best friend. This place was not going to be the same without Carson. Tears had built up, threatening to escape his eyes. Rodney wasn't the type to cry but today, he allowed himself to mourn the loss of a very special person in his life that he would never forget. Carson had given him so many good memories to cherish for the rest of his life. The thing that he was going to miss the most about Carson was his companion for other people and his bad jokes. Carson was his buddy and nothing was going to change that.

It was heart wrenching to lose a so close friend but telling Carson's mother and his grandmother just shattered what was left of his heart. Rodney could still remember Carson's mom's and his Grandmother's face when they broke the bad news to them. That heart wrenching scream that came from his mother and the sobbing that had come from his grandmother would haunt Rodney for a long time. Rodney looked down at the letter he was still holding. A tear fell on the letter, causing it to leave a wet stain on the letter. Elizabeth had found a letter in Beckett's quarters and had given it to him when he came back from Earth. It said Dear Rodney. He hadn't opened it yet. He took a deep breath and opened the letter.

_Dear Rodney,_

_When you read this I am not among you anymore but please don't be sad. We all are supposed to leave, and some leave sooner than others and I guess it was my time. I might not be among you anymore but I will still be with you in spirit. Rodney, even though we had our arguments, you were my best friend. I wish that I could have told you that more often when I was alive. You were like my second family. You all were, Teyla, Elizabeth, John and Ronon . Rodney, you are a great man and a great man. _Don't worry, my friend. _I know that it's not goodbye. _We will meet again somewhere, I promise.

_Your best friend, _

_Carson_

Rodney stopped reading the letter. He looked up. The tears were now running like pouring rain. If he had only gone fishing with him, he would have been still alive. It was all his fault that he lost his best friend. He is gone and there was nothing he could do to bring him back where he belonged, and that was here at Atlantis with his family.

"Rodney?" Someone quietly called out to him. He turned around to see who it was. It was John.

"Sheppard, what are you doing here?" he asked as best as he could without his voice breaking down.

John stepped closer to Rodney's bed, "we hadn't seen you for quite a while and we were starting to get worried."

"Oh really?" Honestly he couldn't care less.

John sat down next to Rodney looking tired and sadness was covering John's face which usually was filled with happiness. He didn't look like as the usual happy John Sheppard. "Yes, we were."

Rodney gaze wasn't focusing on anything in the room; he was just letting his eyes wandering in room. He was still holding the letter from Carson. "You know what," Rodney began but stopped when he felt that his voice couldn't let out any words, "if I would had been a good friend like Carson was, I would had gone with him fishing and then we would had been sitting in the Mess Hall."

"Rodney, you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault," John assured Rodney, placing a hand on Rodney's shoulder.

Rodney shifted his gaze at John, "but why do I feel like it my fault."

John didn't say anything. He pulled his best friend for a hug. Everyone needed a hug; even Doctor Rodney Meredith McKay needed a hug once in a while.


End file.
